Happy ending?

I've never liked when stories end with a marriage or a wedding or proposal.  In my admittedly different mind, it was as if when you get engaged or you get married, that's the end of your tale.

From the time I was a little
girl, I felt I had PLENTY
of love in my life.

I suppose it's one reason why I was never overly enthusiastic about tying the knot -- or even having a serious relationship.  The whole institution of marriage seemed to carry this finality about it -- especially for women -- and it was just too much for me to think about.  It's probably why I was never into weddings or wedding dresses or any number of things: because it felt like an ending of sorts.

T(wonderful)FMT made me happy to
have EVEN more!

Now that I am getting married to the wonderful Future Mr. Two (he really is wonderful) I am so excited.  But that concern about finality has changed to another kind of ending.  As many of you know, I have struggled with my health for almost my entire adult life.  My family has struggled along with me and my fiancee has been a wonderful friend through some of the toughest years.  We thought that we would have a few years of relative medical calm.  But somewhere in the Universe, someone was worried we might get bored.  So instead, at the beginning of the year, we got news of some unwanted medical excitement.  Unfortunately, it hasn't calmed down yet.  And regardless of how hard I work to peace out (I understand the inherent irony in that statement) or how many chemicals my doctors pump into me, I can't figure out how to make my little body take a chill pill.

Some of the people I love best during the
last serious round of medical drama.

On the bright side, I've stopped stressing out about the wedding.  Really, it's the last of my concerns.  For all I care, The Future Mr. Two and I don't need a wedding.  (TFMT would say that's been my opinion from the start, which is true).  We were going to have a big bash with all of our friends; if you're reading this blog, you were probably on our original list.  But as my health has failed to stabilized, our plans have gotten smaller.  From 600 to 60 -- only our families.  

I am extremely fortunate to have a life jam packed with love: from my family, friends (hi!), colleagues, teachers, conductors, mentors, readers:) the list literally goes on and on.  But I don't want my story to end any time soon.  I rather enjoy being in it.  And I look forward to it long after marrying TFMT.

Even though it's with a certain level of consternation, there is something I have learned about endings and love and about each of us: Regardless of religious belief (I've got enough for a few congregations) love is eternal.  Whether through stories retold by friends, children, grand children and great grandchildren, or though some mystical bond, it reverberates through time and space, echoing from generation to generation into eternity.  It is not limited by sickness or by distance or death.  It's not amorphous.  It is why we go on living, go on hoping and go on being.  It is because deep within our souls, there is a glimmer of faith that somewhere, someone can or does or will love us.  And it is that glint that gives us the strength to go on -- whether we know it or not.

Love comes in all shapes,
sizes and types.

It is the reason why so many stories end with love or marriage.  It doesn't have to be romantic.  But it does necessitate change.  It makes us less selfish and more selfish.  It makes us want to continue forever and through it, we can. Because while stories end, love doesn't.  It is immortal.

And in some way, that is what we all want.  Through love, we achieve it.