Why has no one thought of this before?

So, being away from home and all, I had to get a bank account. This involved getting some plastic, so that I can build up my credit rating. In general, I don't like spending money, so I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having a tiny card with unlimited* purchasing power in my pocket. This brought up the problem of identity theft and wallet stealing -- how terrible would it be if I screwed up? What if someone reached into one of those huge pockets I love so much and snatched away my credit rating? And money? That would suck, wouldn't it? So I got down to protecting my future. By designing my own card. Eh?

There are some mock-ups below. I think the last one is my favorite.