A few weeks ago I realized that Tom and I have been dating for more than two years! He was actually Corban's friend first. But after he came to my family's annual Christmas party and told an awful joke about proposing to a girl with an engagement ring made out of a cremated family member, I claimed him as my own. (Actually it took him about a month to ask me on a real-live date, but that joke was the clincher. Not even kidding. Well, that and his ambition of becoming an astronaut, and his pretty blue eyes, and his mad Chinese skills. *Swoon* - but I digress...)
When we first started dating I was at school in Denver and he was at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, so we saw each other at least every weekend. But, after that semester finished, things got more complicated. I was transferring to Yale, and he was headed to Rice for grad school. That summer my mom invited him to join us on a family vacation in Europe. Tom thought it was a great idea, but I was less thrilled. I was convinced that after spending 2+ weeks with my family he would break up with me. I consoled myself by reasoning that the breakup would make our school plans less difficult.....Well, he didn't break up with me (still not exactly sure why - we were all crazy on that trip). And because we didn't breakup in Croatia, we had to decide if we were going to try the whole long-distance dating deal. I was really hesitant. We had been dating for 7 months - and he was my first real boyfriend. But we didn't break up. Instead we decided to date other people, just to see what would happen. It didn't really work. I think I went on four "dates" and he went on one....In December I admitted that I didn't want to date other people anymore. He agreed.
So we've been doing the whole long-distance thing ever since. And it's worked pretty well. We visit every four weeks or so, and talk every day. At one level I'm grateful for the space; it allows me to focus on school in a way that I probably wouldn't if Tom was here. At another level it kind of stinks. And it makes me a little anxious. For the majority of our relationship, we've lived in different states - which definitely creates a different dynamic. We don't argue very much - and never about little things. When we are together, neither of us wants to do anything that would sully our time together - which is great, but maybe a little unrealistic. Sometimes it makes me wonder if we're experiencing an authentic relationship.
Last summer I decided to apply for internships in Houston (where Tom is in school) so we could see what being in the same place for an extended period of time was like. It was wonderful. We actually spent time together every day. And we got into fights about inconsequential nothings! And I could hardly believe that after 11 weeks I still wasn't sick of him! But since then we've had to go back to long-distance. And it's harder than it was before.
Sometimes I still wonder....And I get annoyed that he isn't here to go to things with me - to fight about things with me, to sit around and do nothing with me...Humph.
Have any of you ever been in long-distance relationships? What were the pros and cons? What advice do you have? Does it seem totally crazy?!