Cake > Sex

Look! I made a cake! 

Here are a few things you should know about me and this cake, and also cakes in general. 
  1. I'm not a huge fan of cake--I'll typically go for something chewier and/or fattier if given the choice.
  2. I'm not very good at making cake--they tend to turn into "trifles."
  3. This cake was crazy delicious, it was not hideous, and I ate it instead of ice cream for several meals (mostly breakfast, but also lunch...also dessert). 
Typically, the only reason I'll bake a cake is to celebrate the birth of someone I adore. This often results in my humiliation as friends and friends-of-friends offer well-meaning compliments and comments. "It really does taste good though!" "That was such a sweet idea!" "YOU are very, very thoughtful!"

This cake however, was not a token of love and celebration, but rather the debit of a lost wager. The scene was something like this:
 (Liberty's legs can be seen protruding from beneath the couples' bed as Premal quietly reads atop it.)
L: HELP! HELPhelp! Premal! I'm stuck, I can't breath!
(Premal extracts his wife)
P: What were you doing?
L: Trying to plug in our new lamps. 
P: I can do that.
L: You are much bigger and fatter than I am, and it is therefore impossible for you to succeed in this effort where I have failed. 
P: Wanna bet?
L: Yes, I do.
P: Okay, but if I win I want something awesome.
L: Okay. 
P: Not something dumb, like sex. 
L: Okay.
P: I want cake. A carrot cake. With frosting. 
L: Deal.
(Premal reaches the cord behind the mattress, thereby completing the task and winning the wager in mere seconds. --Scene--)   

Pineapple Carrot Cake with Maple Cream Cheese Frosting

note: Obviously walnuts and raisins are optional, except when they're not. Which happens to be the case with this cake. Which is to say, I refuse to endorse the results of the recipe below should you choose to omit these items. xoxo

2 c. sugar
1 1/3 c. vegetable oil
3 eggs
1 t. vanilla
2 1/2 c. flour
2 t. cinnamon  
2 t. baking soda
1 1/2 t. salt
1 c. raisins
1 c. walnuts
1 lb. finely grated carrots
1/2 c. fresh pineapple, cubed
1 in. finely grated fresh ginger

Preheat oven to 350 f

Prepare 3 8-inch rounds with parchment, then butter and flour. 

Beat sugar, oil and eggs with mixer fitted with a paddle for 4 minutes. Add vanilla. Sift together flour, cinnamon, baking soda and salt--add to wet ingredients. Toss raisins and nuts with a little flour, then fold into batter (it will be quite stiff at this point). Fold in carrots and pineapple. Divide among the pans and bake 50 min. 

2 blocks cream cheese
1 stick butter
2 c. powdered sugar (sifted, please.)
1/4 c. maple syrup
1 pinch salt

Place all ingredients in a mixer. Beat the bejeezus out of it. Wait 'til your cake is actually cool before frosting.